a beautiful prayer

 found this prayer online and i was moved... 

Loving and wise Father. I pray for the light of your wisdom and guidance as I search for true friendship that will lead me to find my suitable partner in life.

Help me to patiently wait for the right person who will be my companion for all my life. Bless me, Lord, that I, myself, may grow in these virtues; deep respect for life and people, kindness, sincerity and generosity.

Teach me to become unselfish and forgivign of others. I ask for the grace to be prepared for the commitment that I will eventually make to the particular person who will be your gift to me.

Lord, accompany me all days of my life. Draw me closer to You so that I will be able to discern Your will for me. Give me the courage to decide not according to what others want, not even according to what I alone want. But may I always place my desires in accord with the designs of your heart so that I may experience real peace and joy that can only come from you. Amen

Thank you, God, for another year...

farewell and thank you Singapore!!!

"Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything.

It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it." ~ Trey Parker

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next." ~Gilda Radner 

*Photo credit: Thanks to Kenneth Boey for my underwater photos... 

awesome photos of me underwater.. 'Til our next "beer session" my friend. =)

to do or not to do...

Why not... let's give it a try friends =)

Travel Scholarships - Travel. Experience. Contribute.

http://journals.worldnomads.com/scholarships/story/82158/Worldwide/Travel-Writing-Scholarship-2012-Southeast-Asia#.T1198YfC86o.twitter

a wishlist

i rarely ask for something from someone (except from my dad... yes, you can see a papa's girl here) because if i need something i would usually buy them. my reason, why wait for someone to give one to me. same as... why wait for someone to give you a ring... buy yourself a ring girl. =P

but that doesn't mean i splurge a lot, i would weigh whether certain stuff are really a need.if i have extra, i would probably get these stuff...

some diving stuff... 

the suunto elementum aqua looks nice in white straps- that will make a lovely addition to my small collection of watches.. the instinct pro is a fairly fitting fins that i could find for my tiny feet at the moment...

a little bit of something...
something to add to one of the few accessories that i can't live without- watches...
something for travel...
something to keep the fire burning for speech pathology practice...

I always wanted a bike but I have no idea what to get. I can't even ride a bike decently. But... but... if I could train, if someone would be patient enough to coach me, a triathlon (just a sprint) is on my bucket- list! 

A few sessions of pilates would be great too. Haha 

Maybe I should send an entry to that travel writing scholarship and include that in my wishlist. 

An answered prayer... hmm, details will probably be in my blogs in the next few months. =)

I have few other things that I wish I could get... not when I have extra cash because most of them can't be bought by money; in that case, my stronger means are my prayers and a happy heart. have a happy heart and everything will fall into place. =)

Dear Santa,

 I promise to be a good girl this year O=) 

Love, T

pushing your limits

"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." - T.S. Elliot

I've always appreciate this quote as it teaches one to really push his/her limits. Today, it isn't a huge life- changing event but I was reminded of this quote.

The past few weeks/ months, i have been reconciled with my first love...  freediving.  I've been training with some new friends who has a similar passion. I've always enjoyed this sport even when other people thinks it's crazy. I would read books or articles and even hear stories from fellow freedivers about LMC and black- outs... in theory, i know them. I know what can be the signs; we even practiced how to do rescue. But... I have never experienced it... until today- "I was almost there". My strict but patient buddy, Andrew, knows I am going for this freediving competition at the end of the month. So when we went for training today, we started doing some warm-ups, then i did my static and a bit of dynamic when i started feeling cold.

I didn't really hit a very long breath hold timing but at least I was doing it more consistently at 3minutes plus. I am getting more used to the contractions and slowly finding ways on how to ignore them. In addition, I am still trying to find ways to relax despite the coaching that I hear as I start showing signs that I am about to give up (which, by the way, stresses me more =D). With the support of my buddy, I pushed myself a bit more... 3 minutes and 35 seconds... and i almost passed out. But it was a good feeling.. knowing that i reached what i was hoping to achieve since last week- 3 minutes and 30 seconds. Now I know how it feels, and it isn't as bad as I thought. That has always been my fear- passing out.. now I know it isn't that bad and with reliable buddies, i'll be fine.

Well, I'll never know about that if I didn't hold on a bit more, if I just gave up just because I feared I'll pass out and I'll be a burden to my buddy (I always imagine the stress that I will cause if I pass out). I didn't really lose my consciousness but at least now I know how it feels to be almost there... and  it only took a little bit of courage to go beyond my comfort zone... a little bit more faith in myself that I can do more... and a complete trust to my buddy that he will do his job and think that I will not be a burden when the situation arise, that's what buddies are for after all. =)

See, that's why I love freediving... it teaches me some great life lessons (",)

Thanks Andrew... and to our other buddy, Zhengping, we missed you at today's session, see you tomorrow! Oh and how can I forget Michelle, when I'm always reminded to do my surface protocol well. ;)

i am a singporean... is this the reality? (i hope not)

Photo from : http://www.sammyboy.com/showthread.php?36608-Video-Struggle-of-a-76-yr-old-Singaporean-Street-Scavenger/page3

last week, as i walk back to our office from the wards, i saw this old, indian man walking along the corridor. he was probably in his 70s or early 80s, walking slowly and seemed lost. i looked at my watch a quarter past 1pm, so i just have 45minutes for my lunch and i was starving so i decided to walk past the man. after all, it's a common sight in the corridors, a lot of people who visits the hospital gets a little lost. but something in him bothered me.. so i turned back.

• me: hello sir, can i help you?
• man: oh hello, yes i need to see my doctor. i don't know where it is. i am feeling giddy and cannot find it. can you please help me.
• me: which department are you going?
• man: i don't know but i have an appointment (getting something from his pocket, handed to me his appointment card)
• me: i looked at all the papers he passed to me (it read:  History of Dementia, Stroke, IHD etc.... my heart sank and really felt sad for this old man.) oh you are supposed to go to the third floor, you should go to that lift... 
• man: can you help me go to the lift. oh but you must be busy, i'm so sorry to bother you. just tell me where the lift is.
• me: no problem sir, i'll accompany you to the lift. (out of concern, i asked him)... sir if you don't mind my asking, how come you came alone to the hospital, where is your family?
• man: oh my wife is sick and my children are working; some of them has to take care of their children... and then go to work. You see, I'm a Singaporean.... everyone in the family is busy. 

i almost cried when he told me about that... until now, it still echoes in my mind... I AM A SINGAPOREAN. is this the reality for singaporeans? it isn't the first time i encountered similar situations; some of my patients in the ward has similar situation.

are people here in the little red dot too busy to care? are the people so focused on making the ends meet that they forget about what life is really  all bout? i know i can't generalize, i know people here who would go out of their way just to help and just to show they care.

having been here in about 4 years, there are occasions when i feel i never fit in here. while most people are friendly and nice, i almost always feel the lack of warmth. we all have different life experiences, and maybe i am expecting something just like how it is with family and friends back home. so i can't really say that this is really what singaporeans are... don't get me wrong, i had few good friendships developed with some locals as well.

it is a sad reality, maybe it isn't just in singapore.. but i know these encounters have taught me some great lessons.

• busy work schedule isn't an excuse not to be with your family especially when it is needed
• when you are just too busy with work, stop and look back... ask yourself if you are happy. chances are, you will feel the emptiness... because the people at work, your bosses, and your clients won't be there when life hits you hard. only family and true friends will be there... only they can give you that warm hug and say "it'll will be all right... i'm here."
• you don't really have to change the way you are... if you can't find your place, it isn't the end of the world. don't carry those burden, make your heart happy. likely, this isn't your destination.. and you are meant to be a passerby here.

i know i can't generalize what singaporeans are. but i hope and pray for those people i've encountered that their children, their family have a change of heart.. i hope that one day, whatever hurt in the past they have created - intentionally or not, and whatever difficulties they are going through will be resolved.

as for me... i know i'm just a passerby here. one day i'll leave. i had good and bad times here.  there were wounds acquired but i guess, the few good friendships i have established here are good enough to at least cover the wounds. it'l take time to heal the wounds but i know when i leave... the good memories are enough for me to just ignore the bad ones... =)